Week 2

Went to class again. It was pretty interesting. We talked mainly about portion sizes and what society has done to us food wise. We went through what normal portions were in the 50's all the way till now. The calories for portions have more than doubled and 3 inches have been added to the diameters of our dinner plates. And.. since a lot of us were raised by parents whose house rule was 'clean your plate' we do just that, even though we're eating so much more than they did.. doesn't look like it though, everything's gotten bigger but is still refered to as the same amount.

Today I'm feeling particularly crappy.. work has been really hellish and I can never seem to relax enough to feel rested at home. I want this surgery to happen asap.. but i know that I have 4 weeks to go before I can even qualify, insurance wise. Ugh.. make time go faster. I don't want to feel this way anymore.

And so bit begins...

I went to my first class today. After much thought and of course, urging by my mother who will never admit it, but wishes that she had more perfect, and pretty daughters.. I have entered into the Bariatric pre-surgery program at Bronson.

It wasn't an easy decision, but it's something that I really need to do. I want to go shopping and be able to wear normal clothes, and to see something that I like in the mirror. To top it off, I've met the man of my dreams and want to be the perfect looking bride :) I want to wear a sexy sari and show off my stomach as I dance to Punjabi beats, lol.

The class today was a basic rundown of learning how to be more conscious of eating and to really think about whether or not I'm actually hungry and what hunger actually feels like compared to an emotional craving. During class, the doc had us close our eyes and picture a time when we were justifiably hungry. We were supposed to feel where our bodies were sending us the message from. I felt it in my stomach, and my body felt shaky and weak... then we needed to do that same for when we felt a craving, or were emotionally hungry. I felt my body sending me messages from my tongue and my mouth began to water.

It's weird.. for a person who prides herself in following the pagan and shamanistic ways (still learning and reading the books of it.. so I'm far from an expert) wasn't listening to my body the way that I'm supposed to, or am currently being taught to. This is definitely something I'm going to need to focus on.. especially if I expect to be successful on this journey I am about to partake in.

More to come! I'm sure the future blogs, logging my travels down the road of self discovery will be much more indepth and entertaining. This is after all, my life, right!!